On My Mind

On My Mind: Learning to Believe in Yourself

February 16, 2018

Hi guys,

So this week’s topic is something that really has been on my mind the past few weeks, and something I know myself I need to improve on: learning to believe in myself. It’s ironic I’m writing a post about it as it’s probably not something I should be giving advice on. I’ve always struggled with self-doubt a little bit, and I know others do too. I know it might sound ridiculous coming from someone who’s job is to put themselves out there online, but I’m not always as confident or sure of myself as I make it out to be. I guess opening up and being honest about it will let others know they’re not alone when they feel that way – and it can be a little reminder for us all that feeling this way is just a feeling, and we need to learn to fight it.

Learning to believe in yourself can open up endless opportunities in your life.

I remember when I started my blog the quote “Doubt kills more dreams, than failure ever will” was my motto. I knew I had to believe in myself 110% if I wanted to keep going at it. It’s mad looking back at how far I’ve come, believing in yourself actually works haha. I’m so grateful for the bit of self-belief I had to get myself this far, but every now and again the voice in my head creeps in “you’re not good enough”, “you can’t”, “it won’t work out” and I just have to do my best to ignore it.

It’s at it’s loudest when I set goals for myself – goals that I really want to achieve, and that will take a lot of hard work. This voice and it’s running commentary have a huge effect on my self-belief and eventually my motivation.

Self-doubt affects your confidence, your ability to think logically and reasonably, and ultimately your happiness. It leaves you with only fear and insecurity. If you follow me on social media you’ll know I do my best to “think positive” (all those motivatation quotes I share haha) but it doesn’t always work.

What works, when it comes to self-doubt like this, is developing self-knowledge and understanding – something which can be hard to remember if you’re feeling down or if you’ve had a bad day.

I did some research online – because just like any other struggle, there has got to be ways to overcome it. Here are 5 steps to help develop this self knowledge and love you need to fight self-doubt:

1. Identify your doubts

What are your exact doubts related to? Where is the doubt stemming from? More often than not it is related to not feeling good enough and/or other peoples opinions. You need remember we are all good enough to try – self doubt is just a feeling, it doesn’t determine what you’re capable of. Turn these negative feelings into an opportunity to grow. Write a list of what you want to improve on and what you want to achieve – small changes, learning and personal growth are some positives you can take from the horrible thing that is self-doubt.

2. Remember your successes and believe it’s possible 

Remember that time you did something you didn’t think you could? Remember that time someone saw something in you you didn’t see in yourself? Remember that time you got something you had really wanted and worked hard for? These are all valid reasons to believe in yourself. Write them down, be your own motivation and give yourself some credit (like you would do with other people!) Believe what you’re aiming for is possible and it will be someday!

3. Stop listening to people who bring you down

You have to be careful who you surround yourself with. Be with people who support you, who trust your judgement and who see and want the best in you! Anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself (without constructive criticism) isn’t worth your time.

4. Trust yourself

Set goals, make a plan (with realistic goals), work hard, don’t be afraid to ask for help, know you can do it and don’t give up. You only lose when you quit. Visualise what you’re aiming for and trust that you can get yourself there.

5. Give yourself permission to try

It’s ok to try new things – even if they don’t work out. I know that sounds scary, but it’s brave to get out of your comfort zone. Do it for you, enjoy the process and don’t be too hard on yourself if it doesn’t all work out the way you’d hoped straight away. Keep trying and stay motivated.

As I said, I’m definitely not an expert – but I think even writing these things down has helped me and hopefully it will help you if you struggle with self-doubt.

Sometimes we don’t even realise why we feel the way we do, so it’s hard to fix it and move forward.

Let me know if you’ve struggled with believing in yourself and what did you do? Any other advice is welcome 🙂

Lou x

P.S. I’m wearing all River Island here. The jacket and skirt are from the new Holly Fulton x River Island designer collaboration. Sunglasses are Rayban and Boots are River Island.

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  • Reply Florence Olufemi-Ojo February 17, 2018 at 7:28 am

    This is so true as it is something we all struggle with. I could totally relate

  • Reply Laura February 18, 2018 at 9:54 pm

    Amazing post, Louise! Exactly what I needed to hear today. Gonna save this for the next time those evil little thoughts creep in. Thanks for writing this! x

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