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Single Life

Three Strikes & You’re Out

January 29, 2020

Here is a wonderful story from my college days of a lad from Cork that had some boundary issues cira mid 2000s.

Strike One:
We were suppose to meet to watch a football game in the new bar in UCC, he was late and arrived to my house complaining that it was now too late to watch the game comfortably in a bar!

Strike Two:
He has brought a 6 pack of cans and proceeded to down them like he was dying of dehydration in a desert. Then asked my house mate to spot him 6 more cans!

Strike Three: He is outta here
After the can he realise the liquid had to go somewhere and needed the bathroom. I told him it was upstairs (about 12 steps up). He looked shocked and with all seriousness asked me could he “not just piss out my sitting room window” as the  bathroom was “too far away”. Clearly I said no and how disgusting that was, yet he continued to argued for 10 mins to be allowed.


Needless to say he was not allowed and that while he was in the actual bathroom I got a taxi and sent his dirty arse packing. 


I mean there is taking the piss and actually a taking a piss. Put me off dating for a while!!

Single Life

The Drunken American

January 29, 2020

So my first date, after being in a 3 yr relationship, was in Limerick. It was with an American lad I met on Tinder and I thought IDEAL, Americans have been dating for yonks and this was 2014 and the Irish hadn’t a notion. So went on the date and he’d been at a works do beforehand, drinking Jameson with the Irish and turned up so gone he never arrived.

He starts off by complimenting how well I speak English for an Irish person. He then goes on to talk about his college course and how he had a module that involved Cadavers in first year. Now I try to be chatty and the likes so when we’re talking at this stage I have my hands out and he goes on to explicitly say how much he enjoyed dissecting the arm.. so naturally I take my arms off the table :/ and told him I felt like I was in the start of an episode of Criminal Minds.

He then invites me back to his and all I can do is refuse and order him a pint of water